It all begins with Self-Image Mastery

Research consistently demonstrates the power of mindset on behavior change.

You can set the most exciting goals, make sure they are smart and engage the most sort after coach but unless your self-image is in alignment with the behaviors and beliefs required to achieve those goals, you will consistently fall short.

Success is not simply a will power thing. We have to deeply believe in our ability to create successful outcomes and then have the habits to get the work done through self-discipline, diligent practice and preparation.

It all begins with your self-image with specific reference to the goal you have set.

For instance, if you have a desire to be a comfortable and natural public speaker but your emotions and thoughts along with the underlying beliefs are all centered on fear and memories of mistakes; you will probably not be natural the next time you speak in public.  Because much of our thoughts, emotions and actions are on automatic, you would have to do a lot more than deal with conscious outcomes (like behavior) if lasting change is desired. Often, the foundation of our self-image is not conscious; the beliefs, memories, expectations and fears are usually on automatic, until we coax them above the surface.

Maxwell Maltz, who wrote the book Psycho Cybernetics (1960) stumbled into this research when he tried to help his patients. As a plastic surgeon he did surgeries to help people  look better so they can feel better about themselves.  He noticed that in some cases people would get the surgery requested and almost immediately would have a change in disposition. They would become visibly happier and content with their life.  Then there were others who would get a similar requested surgery to change some aspect of their face or body and for some reason they would have no change in disposition.  Some of them even got more despondent after the surgery.  He found that very curious. He also had patients who would come in asking for surgeries that were clearly not needed – to his eyes.  The patient would be convinced for instance, that their nose was huge when it was pretty normal.

These responses baffled him and so he began research into this brand new (at the time) area of study in psychology – the self-image.

How a person saw their self – the ‘sort of person’ they were pivotal. It’s in that perception that all else rests.  So if the patient thought of herself as ugly no amount of surgery would make a difference. In spite of ‘objective’ feedback from trusted sources the person would still hang on to their belief.

How the brain and nervous system supports a person’s perception of their self was fascinating to Dr. Maltz.  In 1945, he began a new career with his research in psycho-cybernetics.  He realized that to really help his patients he had to study their psychology and more specifically he had to help them improve their self-image.

His research provides the scientific foundation for my offerings.  Success with creating new habits that help is all about self-image management and mastery.

Dr. Maltz helped his patients with 21-day programs of activity.  He found that it took about 21 days for his patients to create a new self-image.  And what worked for him has worked for me, my clients and my groups – I am deeply grateful to Dr. Maltz and his findings.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from Dr. Maltz:

The ”self-image” is the key to human personality and human behavior.

Change the self image and you change the personality and the behavior.

Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment,

Our self-image and our habits tend to go together. Change one and you will automatically change the other.

You are embarking on the greatest adventure of your life — to improve your self-image, to create more meaning in your life and in the lives of others. This is your responsibility. Accept it, now!

Wishing you an abundance of sucesss,

Julette Millien

♥~

Would You Let Someone Speak To You THIS WAY?

Do you like be talked down to?

When someone speaks to you as if you are dim-witted, slow or generally incapable of doing something, do you feel good?

Perhaps you might be motivated to prove them wrong, if you’re “lucky.”  But most folks are de-motivated.

Depending on when this takes place in your life and who does the damage, the impact on your sense of self-confidence can be devastating.   Research does confirm this dynamic but even without the research, it’s a pretty self-evident fact that negativity breeds more of the same.

The negative words and messages that you or someone else puts into your psyche will, if you don’t interrupt the cycle, produce negative outcomes.

There’s negative impact on health, stress, self-confidence and productivity.  More information on this research can be found here: http://stress.about.com/od/optimismspirituality/a/selftalk.htm

So tell me, if we know and accept this, why do we continue to engage in negative self-talk? If we don’t want others to speak to us in negative ways, why is it OK to do it to our self? (reminds me of the ‘N’ word controversy!)

In creating new success habits, negative self-talk produces the complete opposite mental posture that you need.  Things like “I can’t do this,”  “I always mess up,” “This is too hard for me,” don’t help you to increase your resolve and commitment.  They do the opposite.

You need a positive, optimistic, self-confident posture. Changing, breaking and making habits are undertakings that require your most positive outlook.   They  go against everything your body yearns for – patterns are so very comfortable for humans!  (especially the ones that bring some pleasure)

A negative self-image will NOT motivate you to take action daily with  something as challenging as creating  new and powerful success habit.

Have you ever taken a major exam or made an important presentation where you wanted/needed to do well? How did you prepare?  Did you stay out all night? Did you show up to the exam hungry and dead beat?  Did you not bother to study or prepare? Did you walk with no materials, pen or pencils?

If you wanted to do well, the answers here are pretty obvious. Chances are you did everything you needed to do in order to be rested, fed and prepared.

Apply that thinking here and check your self-talk.  Your daily preparation for this ‘major exam’ of creating new success habits is checking your thoughts before they manifest.  Before you even have a thought, you have an emotion…monitor these.  They can lead down a path of self-sabotage.

Of course you can acknowledge negative emotions and maybe even sit with them for a bit – within reason, this is a good thing.   However, you must  exercise control over these negative emotions by not having them produce unhelpful, negative thinking and behaviors.

Remaining conscious and aware throughout this process is essential.

The things you say and the questions you ask during this crucial time  will determine your success.

How to create successful habits is all about your thoughts. What are you thinking? What questions are you asking?

Is it “why am I doing this anyway?” or is it “what can I do to succeed with this effort?”

Is it “why do I always mess up?” or is it “how can I approach this project with a better attitude, this time?”

Whatever you ask, the answer for THAT question will manifest.   Whatever you think, the behavior for that thought will manifest.

Think thoughts and take actions that lead to the consistently magnificent life you wish to live.

Share some of your power thoughts or questions; we would love to hear how you approach the challenging moments.

Wishing You Abundant Prosperity, Peace and Joy!
Julette Millien

♥♥♥~~~

Would You Let Somebody Talk to You This Way?

Powerful Habits in 21 Days  – PH 21
Day # 4

Hello Successful Habit Makers!
Do you like be talked down to? When someone speaks to you as if you are dim-witted, slow or generally incapable of doing something, do you feel good?  Perhaps you might be motivated to prove them wrong, if you’re “lucky.”  But most folks are de-motivated.

Depending on when this takes place in your life and who does the damage, the impact on your sense of self-confidence can be devastating.   Research does confirm this dynamic but even without the research, it’s a pretty self-evident fact that negativity breeds more of the same.   The negative words and messages that you or someone else put into your psyche will, if you don’t interrupt the cycle, produce negative outcomes.

There’s negative impact on health, stress, self-confidence and productivity.  More information on this research can be found here: http://stress.about.com/od/optimismspirituality/a/selftalk.htm

So tell me if we know and accept this, why do we continue to engage in negative self-talk? If we don’t want others to speak to us in negative ways, why is it OK to do it to our self? (reminds me of the ‘N’ word controversy!)

In creating new habits, negative self-talk produces the complete opposite mental posture that you need.  Things like “I can’t do this,”  “I always mess up,” “This is too hard for me,” don’t help you to increase your resolve and commitment.  They do the opposite.

You need a positive, optimistic, self-confident posture.  Changing, breaking and making habits are undertakings that require your most positive outlook.   They  go against everything your body yearns for – patterns are so very comfortable for humans!  (especially the ones that bring some pleasure)

A negative self-image will NOT motivate you to do something that is challenging.

Have you ever taken a major exam or made an important presentation where you wanted/needed to do well? How did you prepare?  Did you stay out all night? Did you show up to the exam hungry and dead beat?  Did you not bother to study or prepare? Did you walk with no materials, pen or pencils?

If you wanted to do well, the answers here are pretty obvious. Chances are you did everything you needed to do in order to be rested, fed and prepared.

Apply that thinking here and check your self-talk.  Your daily preparation for this ‘major exam’ of creating new success habits is checking your thoughts before they manifest.  Before you even have a thought, you have an emotion…monitor these.  They can lead down a path of self-sabotage.

Of course you can acknowledge negative emotions and maybe even sit with them for a bit, but only you can exercise control over them by not having them produce unhelpful, negative thinking.

The things you say and the questions you ask during this time is what will determine your success.

How to create successful habits is all about your thoughts.  What are you thinking? What questions are you asking? Is it “why am I doing this anyway?” or is it “what can I do to succeed with this effort?” Is it “why do I always mess up?” or is it “how can I approach this project with a better attitude, this time?”

Whatever you ask, the answer for THAT question will manifest.   Whatever you think, the behavior for that thought will manifest.

Share some of your power thoughts or questions; we would love to hear how you approach the challenging moments.

Until Tomorrow…
To Your Success,
Julette Millien