Would You Let Someone Speak To You THIS WAY?

Do you like be talked down to?

When someone speaks to you as if you are dim-witted, slow or generally incapable of doing something, do you feel good?

Perhaps you might be motivated to prove them wrong, if you’re “lucky.”  But most folks are de-motivated.

Depending on when this takes place in your life and who does the damage, the impact on your sense of self-confidence can be devastating.   Research does confirm this dynamic but even without the research, it’s a pretty self-evident fact that negativity breeds more of the same.

The negative words and messages that you or someone else puts into your psyche will, if you don’t interrupt the cycle, produce negative outcomes.

There’s negative impact on health, stress, self-confidence and productivity.  More information on this research can be found here: http://stress.about.com/od/optimismspirituality/a/selftalk.htm

So tell me, if we know and accept this, why do we continue to engage in negative self-talk? If we don’t want others to speak to us in negative ways, why is it OK to do it to our self? (reminds me of the ‘N’ word controversy!)

In creating new success habits, negative self-talk produces the complete opposite mental posture that you need.  Things like “I can’t do this,”  “I always mess up,” “This is too hard for me,” don’t help you to increase your resolve and commitment.  They do the opposite.

You need a positive, optimistic, self-confident posture. Changing, breaking and making habits are undertakings that require your most positive outlook.   They  go against everything your body yearns for – patterns are so very comfortable for humans!  (especially the ones that bring some pleasure)

A negative self-image will NOT motivate you to take action daily with  something as challenging as creating  new and powerful success habit.

Have you ever taken a major exam or made an important presentation where you wanted/needed to do well? How did you prepare?  Did you stay out all night? Did you show up to the exam hungry and dead beat?  Did you not bother to study or prepare? Did you walk with no materials, pen or pencils?

If you wanted to do well, the answers here are pretty obvious. Chances are you did everything you needed to do in order to be rested, fed and prepared.

Apply that thinking here and check your self-talk.  Your daily preparation for this ‘major exam’ of creating new success habits is checking your thoughts before they manifest.  Before you even have a thought, you have an emotion…monitor these.  They can lead down a path of self-sabotage.

Of course you can acknowledge negative emotions and maybe even sit with them for a bit – within reason, this is a good thing.   However, you must  exercise control over these negative emotions by not having them produce unhelpful, negative thinking and behaviors.

Remaining conscious and aware throughout this process is essential.

The things you say and the questions you ask during this crucial time  will determine your success.

How to create successful habits is all about your thoughts. What are you thinking? What questions are you asking?

Is it “why am I doing this anyway?” or is it “what can I do to succeed with this effort?”

Is it “why do I always mess up?” or is it “how can I approach this project with a better attitude, this time?”

Whatever you ask, the answer for THAT question will manifest.   Whatever you think, the behavior for that thought will manifest.

Think thoughts and take actions that lead to the consistently magnificent life you wish to live.

Share some of your power thoughts or questions; we would love to hear how you approach the challenging moments.

Wishing You Abundant Prosperity, Peace and Joy!
Julette Millien


Success and Habits: Quotes

Habit Quotes

These are some powerful quotes about creating new habits, the importance of good habits and how to achieve success.

A suggestion: Select one or two per week and write them on cards, placing where you can see them often.  Aspire to LIVE the meaning in your day to day life.  Commit them to memory – which would mean saying them often.

Have fun!

There can be NO success without the habit of forgiveness

~ Julette Millien ~

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.

~ Aristotle ~

A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.

Mark Twain ~

The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them. Even the most tedious chore will become endurable as you parade through each day convinced that every task, no matter how menial or boring, brings you closer to fulfilling your dreams.

Og Mandino ~

Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event.

Brian Tracy ~

The beginning of pride and hatred lies in worldly desire, and the strength of your desire if from habit. When an evil tendency becomes confirmed by habit, rage is triggered when anyone restrains you.

~ Mevlana Rumi ~

Your mind will be like its habitual thoughts; for the soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts. Soak it then in such trains of thoughts as, for example: Where life is possible at all, a right life is possible.

~ Marcus Aurelius ~

The successful person makes a habit of doing what the failing person doesn’t like to do.

~ Thomas Edison ~

Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex.

Norman Vincent Peale ~

Winners have simply formed the habit of doing things losers don’t like to do

Albert Gray ~

Quality is not an act, it is a habit.

Aristotle ~

Ninety-nine percent of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses.

~ George Washington Carver ~

The individual who wants to reach the top in business must appreciate the might and force of habit. He must be quick to break those habits that can break him–and hasten to adopt those practices that will become the habits that help him achieve the success he desires.

~ J. Paul Getty ~

Success is a matter of understanding and religiously practicing specific, simple habits that always lead to success.

~ Robert J. Ringer ~

Genius means little more than the faculty of perceiving in an unhabitual way.

~ William James ~

The soul, like the body, accepts by practice whatever habit one wishes it to contact.

Socrates ~

Thinking is a habit, and like any other habit, it can be changed; it just takes effort and repetition.

~ John Eliot, Ph.D. ~

Stop the habit of wishful thinking and start the habit of thoughtful wishes.

Mary Martin ~

It is the habitual thought that frames itself into our life. It affects us even more than our intimate social relations do. Our confidential friends have not so much to do in shaping our lives as the thoughts have which we harbor.

~ J. W. Teal ~

Success is a habit which can be acquired by the exercise of a moderate amount of intelligence, a great deal of hard work, and an unswerving sincerity of purpose.

~- Major General Herbert Leonard Grills ~

Whatever you habitually think yourself to be, that you are. You must form, now, a greater and better habit; you must form a conception of yourself as a being of limitless power, and habitually think that you are that being. It is the habitual, not the periodical thought that decides your destiny.

~ Wallace D. Wattles ~

People do not decide their futures, they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.

~ FM Alexander ~

Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.

Aristotle ~

Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.

Vince Lombardi ~

There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision.

~ William James ~

The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do… They don’t like doing them either necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose.

~ E. M. Gray ~

I will form good habits and become their slaves.

~ Og Mandino ~

Feeling sorry for yourself, and you present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.

Dale Carnegie ~

Until you have learned to be tolerant with those who do not always agree with you; until you have cultivated the habit of saying some kind word of those whom you do not admire; until you have formed the habit of looking for the good instead of the bad there is in others, you will be neither successful nor happy.

~ Napoleon Hill ~

Habit is a cable; we weave a thread of it each day, and at last we cannot break it.

~ Horace Mann ~

Each year one vicious habit discarded, in time might make the worst of us good.

~ Benjamin Franklin ~

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.

~ Napoleon Hill ~