Do you like be talked down to?
When someone speaks to you as if you are dim-witted, slow or generally incapable of doing something, do you feel good?
Perhaps you might be motivated to prove them wrong, if you’re “lucky.” But most folks are de-motivated.
Depending on when this takes place in your life and who does the damage, the impact on your sense of self-confidence can be devastating. Research does confirm this dynamic but even without the research, it’s a pretty self-evident fact that negativity breeds more of the same.
The negative words and messages that you or someone else puts into your psyche will, if you don’t interrupt the cycle, produce negative outcomes.
There’s negative impact on health, stress, self-confidence and productivity. More information on this research can be found here: http://stress.about.com/od/optimismspirituality/a/selftalk.htm
So tell me, if we know and accept this, why do we continue to engage in negative self-talk? If we don’t want others to speak to us in negative ways, why is it OK to do it to our self? (reminds me of the ‘N’ word controversy!)
In creating new success habits, negative self-talk produces the complete opposite mental posture that you need. Things like “I can’t do this,” “I always mess up,” “This is too hard for me,” don’t help you to increase your resolve and commitment. They do the opposite.
You need a positive, optimistic, self-confident posture. Changing, breaking and making habits are undertakings that require your most positive outlook. They go against everything your body yearns for – patterns are so very comfortable for humans! (especially the ones that bring some pleasure)
A negative self-image will NOT motivate you to take action daily with something as challenging as creating new and powerful success habit.
Have you ever taken a major exam or made an important presentation where you wanted/needed to do well? How did you prepare? Did you stay out all night? Did you show up to the exam hungry and dead beat? Did you not bother to study or prepare? Did you walk with no materials, pen or pencils?
If you wanted to do well, the answers here are pretty obvious. Chances are you did everything you needed to do in order to be rested, fed and prepared.
Apply that thinking here and check your self-talk. Your daily preparation for this ‘major exam’ of creating new success habits is checking your thoughts before they manifest. Before you even have a thought, you have an emotion…monitor these. They can lead down a path of self-sabotage.
Of course you can acknowledge negative emotions and maybe even sit with them for a bit – within reason, this is a good thing. However, you must exercise control over these negative emotions by not having them produce unhelpful, negative thinking and behaviors.
Remaining conscious and aware throughout this process is essential.
The things you say and the questions you ask during this crucial time will determine your success.
How to create successful habits is all about your thoughts. What are you thinking? What questions are you asking?
Is it “why am I doing this anyway?” or is it “what can I do to succeed with this effort?”
Is it “why do I always mess up?” or is it “how can I approach this project with a better attitude, this time?”
Whatever you ask, the answer for THAT question will manifest. Whatever you think, the behavior for that thought will manifest.
Think thoughts and take actions that lead to the consistently magnificent life you wish to live.
Share some of your power thoughts or questions; we would love to hear how you approach the challenging moments.
Wishing You Abundant Prosperity, Peace and Joy!