Geniune Understanding is the Key to Creating New Success Habits

Powerful Habits in 21 Days  – PH 21
Day #20

WOWEE!!!

Today is day #20 of our 21 days together!!  Just one more day and you have successfully created a brand new powerful success habit!

How does that feel?

It feels unbelievably good to me! Though I skipped a few days of not writing during the past 20 days, I was accountable, I acknowledged, I forgave myself and moved on!

How did you handle your slips, if any?

Were you really tough on yourself, not letting it go? I hope not.

The business of making personal change requires real and deep compassion, discipline AND understanding.

Marianne Williamson, the best selling author says this:

True change doesn’t emerge just from action; it emerges from genuine understanding.  Action that stems from shallow understanding turns out to be shallow action.  Action that flows from deeply felt consciousness is action that can change the world.

It’s my hope that you have been as compassionate towards yourself as much, if not more, as you have been disciplined throughout this process.

Above all, have you had a genuine understanding of the process of creating new success habits?

What can you add to your understanding today?

Remember, it’s never too late to improve your understanding about this or any other aspect of your life.

To Your Success and Until Tomorrow – Our 21st and LAST day on this journey!!

Julette

♥♥♥

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Do You Own Your New Success Habit?

Powerful Habits in 21 Days  – PH 21
Day #19

♫♫♫ Happy 19th day of your life-changing 21 days, to YOU! ♫♫♫

Just 2 more days to go!!

I just returned from a funeral and I’m in a state of utter joy!

The woman whose life was celebrated is Constine Evans, lovingly known by many as Mother Evans.   My Pastor’s mother, this woman of God epitomized grace and humility.

I’m in “utter joy” because love is contagious.  This was a celebration like no other.  She lived a life of love, everyone who spoke, spoke from love.  They loved her (and happily demonstrated it) when she was alive so they had no sorrow and guilt and maudlin tears.  Sure she’ll be missed, but not nearly as much as she will be remembered and I hope, internalized.

That’s what I’m doing – just took the word “planning” out of that sentence.  I am not planning to be more like Mother Evans.  I am more like her right now because I have taken possession of those characteristics she embodied.

I am more loving towards ALL, starting with my husband and children.  That alone is enough.  But there’s more. I am more humble than I was yesterday.  I am more responsible with my gift of speech.  Mother Evans spoke softly and infrequently yet profoundly, when she did.

I will speak (write too) only when I have something to say that has value to others.  I am filled with more grace and dignity than I was prior to this celebration.   I am more patient and pleasant with and while I work…

This is not mere promises or positive self-talk,  This has happened: Hence my state of utter joy.  There is no doubt, no “realistic” concern about doing this.  It is already done.

Now you may be asking what, Julette, does this have to do with Success Habits in 21 Days?

As you know I had to blog something today as part of my daily commitment in this program.  There was no way to put aside the enormity of my present state, to write about something else.  It wouldn’t have been authentic.

I didn’t have to think too long and hard though to get a connection.

Just as I was able to be so deeply touched by the life stories and personal characteristics of Mother Evans, to the point of making INSTANT decisions AND improvements in my own character, SO CAN YOU.

Each of you made a commitment to a new success habit in 21 days, 19 days ago.  We’re being obedient to the research and honoring the science behind habit formation with this program.
The 21 days approach is important to concretize this habit, imprint it onto our psyche, ensuring that beyond the 21 days we will continue on with it.

What is MORE important than the 21 days though is your decision to take ownership of this new habit.

Did you take possession yet or are you waiting “to see how you do” with the 21 days?

This is more than positive talk or powerful visualizing – both of which I highly recommend because of how effective they are.

Internalizing, taking possession is full and complete ownership, WITHOUT doubt, worries or anxieties.  The battle against bad habits and psychological dependencies is in the power of your complete ownership of the new habit.

So I welcome you to join me in my state of utter joy.  Take full and complete ownership of your new habit…speak it, do it, think it, OWN what is yours by virtue of the fact that you deserve the magnificent life you seek.

Whatever the habit you are creating, you chose it because you were sure it would get you closer to your best life.

Your success with creating your new habit is completely dependent upon your willingness to take full and complete ownership of it.  Only this commitment will make it impossible to loose your new habit, beyond the 21 days of our program.

So thank you Mother Evans and to my own Mom – Maria Hernandez Logan, who left me a legacy of love, grace and humility to build upon.  I have been blessed with great women to emulate.

I wish you joy, deep and lasting joy.
To Our Success and Until Tomorrow,

Julette

♥♥♥

Hold On! Just 3 More Days To Your New Success Habit

Powerful Habits in 21 Days  – PH 21
Day #18

♫♫♫ Happy 18th day of your life-changing 21 days, to YOU! ♫♫♫

Just 3 more days to go!!

Last week, I received several emails from members of our group with a common theme.
They basically said: “things are going really well with this new habit, so I want to do more, I want to move on to bigger and better things…”

They short answer is: “Just hold on, don’t decide to stop your daily actions because of  early success”

Think about this from a physical/medical perspective.  Can you recall a time when you were on medication, prescribed by your Doctor?

Do you remember how you felt within days of taking the medicine at the prescribed times?

If you’re like me, you no doubt felt better with your symptoms significantly relieved.   I remember being very tempted to stop the medication at that point, thinking ‘I’m healed’ and taking more meds ‘wouldn’t make much difference.’

How wrong I was!

Any Doctor or informed patient knows that taking medication for the length of time and in the dosage prescribed is a must if real healing is desired.  The dosage is prescribed for a reason…not to have you feel better but rather, to be better.

Feelings, in this case really don’t count! Or even appearances.  The prescription needs to be taken in the exact manner prescribed in order to be effective.

Does this sound familiar?  It sure should!

Successfully creating habits require a minimum of 21days of consistent and consecutive daily action.  All research has proven this.

So despite how sure you might be that your new habit is formed and you can move onto celebrating and starting new action plans, stay the course.  And please, complete the prescribed period of specific action which is 21 days!

Now is when your discipline and commitment to creating your new success habit in the most effective way possible really matters.

If you want your new habit to be a lasting and powerful success habit, do it right!

There’re only 3 days left, hold on.  You will be richly rewarded for your commitment.

To Your Success and Until Tomorrow,

Julette

♥♥♥

If You Ask Powerful Questions, You Get….

Powerful Habits in 21 Days  – PH 21
Day #17

♫♫♫ Happy 17th day of your life-changing 21 days, to YOU! ♫♫♫

Just 4 more days to go!!

If you’ve been consistently doing what you committed to 17 days ago, you have just 4 more days to go before you will be able to claim your new success habit.

This is exciting, life-changing and Oh so wonderful! 🙂

…Time for some reflection.   What good is any undertaking if we don’t learn along the way, right?

Ten Questions to ponder: (HIGHLY recommend you write these Q&A’s in your journal)

  1. Are you as excited as you were when you started this program?  Why or why not?
  2. How will this new success habit improve your daily life?
  3. How will it improve your life – family, work, community, relationships, self –  in the long term?
  4. What other habits did you create along the way?
  5. What other habits did you discover needs to be created?
  6. What are you most grateful for today?
  7. What, if anything stands in your way of being completely at peace, even with your new powerful success habit?
  8. What have you learned in this program about your “process” of self-development as you created new success habits?
  9. What are you doing really well in that area (your process of self-development?)
  10. Are there any areas you can improve upon?

These questions will help you  maximize the benefits of this Success Habits in 21 Days program.  Reflecting on them and answering seriously and honestly will open up new areas of thought and gratitude.  (Being serious doesn’t mean taking the fun out though!)

Have some serious fun with it! 🙂  Remember – you’re not done with creating new and powerful success habits; learn something today to apply tomorrow.

And share any of your answers here…someone will be blessed.

To Your Success and Until Tomorrow,

Julette

What do you want? The SYMBOL of success or success?

Powerful Habits in 21 Days  – PH 21
Day #16

♫♫♫♫ Happy 16th day of your life-changing 21 days, to YOU! ♫♫♫♫

Just 5 more days to go!! ☺

I was away for a few days for some rest and relaxation.  It was wonderful! We went to our favorite local spot, Eddy Farm Retreat where there truly is a little bit of paradise right here on earth!

From the moment the car crossed over the railway track on Eddy Farm Road in Sparrowbush, NY, my lungs took in an extra breath of air and I was transported to another place of peace.

Ahhhhhh…..

Eddy Farm is situated in a magnificent setting, on a golf course and right on the Delaware River.

Internet access is limited there.  Though I was told when I arrived by Anthony Wright, the manager and steward of the retreat that computers are now available for guests, I chose not to avail myself of that “pleasure.”

Pleasure in quotes because I chose the real pleasure of complete disconnect from technology.  (Well, I did have to call my husband a few times as he came up a day later. ) I chose to not get on the computer to check emails, post blogs or see what was happening with my various social/business networks.

Instead we played games, took scenic walks and drives, rode bikes, learned about healthy eating and played lifeguard.  I actually witnessed my son’s bravery and courage as he saved a new friend from drowning. What a great life-lesson it was for those children around that pool!

The question here is: how does this fit into our theme of successfully creating a new habit in 21 days? Remember, I did make a commitment to create a new success habit of daily writing, specifically for my Success Habits in 21 Days blog.  And I have been pretty insistent that daily action with specific and deliberate focus was required in order to be successful.  So how does my decision to not blog for a few days remain consistent with the program’s requirements?

Well, for the first several days I had my blog updated by my virtual assistant with previously written material.  You see there’s a calendar on the blog site that turns each date into a link when something is posted.  I wanted to see that calendar literally lit up with 21 days of straight links… a powerful indication of my consistent blogging.

My thinking was that I could go ahead and have my total commitment to rest and relaxation, sans technology, as I needed, while at the same time have something posted to the blog, so the little calendar can light up.  Sounded like a good plan.

That worked until  the final day.  I had a breakthrough.  I had a revelation at the river.  What’s more important I finally reflected?  Was it the look of the calendar or my commitment to write something each day?  What good is it to have the calendar looking right? Meanwhile I haven’t done the writing (or even the posting?)   How does that serve me or this process of creating a new habit?  The answer was obvious: Not very much at all.

Symbolism and symbols are important.  That calendar as a symbol of my commitment and what it meant to me was important.  But what’s most important is the meaning and activity behind the symbols.

What good is a cross hanging around a person’s neck, supposedly honoring Jesus but yet they can’t stop to help a person in distress.  What does the cross symbolize, if not love and compassion for fellow living creatures and people?    Should we put our energies into the wedding or the marriage? The wedding band or the eternal love that it represents?

We have to take action with  what our symbols represent in order to live with integrity and in order to truly BE a living representation of the symbol.

I realized (again) that the shadow on the wall of the cave (Plato’s example) is NOT the thing causing the shadow.  The reflection like the symbol is a mere representation of the thing or the process that has actual significance, meaning and existence.   The Success Habits in 21 Days program is the process I was attempting to honor, but really wasn’t,  by being more concerned about the look of the calendar than the actual writing.

What I could have done was write in my book each morning, as was my original intention when the plans were made.  That would’ve satisfied my commitment to the program and to the process of successfully creating a new habit. Though the calendar would not have reflected the truth of my activity.   That should’ve been OK with me.

Instead, I opted for honoring the symbol!  But then I had a breakthrough on Eddy Farm!

So on the last day – yesterday – instead of making a quick post last night, upon my return, so that the calendar would be “right,” I elected to post nothing, letting that one day interrupt the 21 days of links.  Why?  Because it’s the truth, because a filled in calendar means nothing without the truthful activity behind the symbol.

When I decided to not make that post yesterday, it felt right.  I hadn’t thought out today’s blog yet but I’m glad this message flowed as it did.  Hopefully, you will ease up on yourself regarding your commitment to the symbols of success and get more serious with yourself  and your commitment to true and lasting success.  This is where you will find lasting joy, peace and prosperity; in the authenticity of living life instead of living for symbols.

BEING instead of mere DOING!  Lots of people ‘do’ many things every day.  Unfortunately, very few are BEING what they’re doing.

As you were involved in this 21 days program, did you get caught up in symbols of success, like me with my calendar?  Did you need to see the scale say a certain number because only that number would have meaning?  Or read a certain number of pages, get up at that precise time, walk for those precise minutes, clear the desk even if chaos exist underneath the stacks?

All of these number and action goals are fine IF they are backed by real and substantial activity, under-pinned by the appropriate mindset.

Are you spending your time walking, fussing with yourself, dreading doing it tomorrow or worrying about everything under the sun?

Are you committed to looking like you’re successful with your new habit or BEING successful?

Have you really changed/improved your relationship to food, sleep, exercise, organization, procrastination, creativity, follow-through or are you looking as if you have?

I want a new success habit of writing each morning, even if it’s a sentence.  I don’t want to look like I’m writing.

My decision to completely relax was a good one and a necessary one.  I could’ve resolved the issue of the conflict with this program (with its technology needs) and simply written in my book.  Or, I could’ve  decided that life and family was going to take precedence over my personal goals, which is what I did BUT I also tried to have the calendar (my symbol of success) tell a story that was not actually the truth.

Thank God I came to my senses.

I hope this experience helps you to ease up on the symbols and commit instead, to “BEING the change you’d like to see (in yourself )* in the world!” (Nelson Mandela)

To Your Success and Until Tomorrow,
Julette

*added by me to Mr. Mandela’s quote

(I know, the nerve of me! I don’t think he would mine :-))

The Five Vital Venues of Life

Powerful Habits in 21 Days  – PH 21 Day #14

In order to live a balanced life you’ve got to think about your habits in each of The Five Vital Venues of Life.  You don’t want to be a raving success in business but have a horrible family life, or vice versa (even though I’d take the latter over the former any day!)  You don’t want to have an imbalanced life – that is not success.

The Five Vital Venues are:

  • Self – (where most of the self help industry spends its time!) this is anything to do with self-improvement, personal habits, health & wellness, personal spending, etc…
  • Relationships – the dynamics of relationships, communication, and all that goes into having loving, open and thriving relationships falls into this venue
  • Home –  this venue is all about where you call home and all that happens there.  Your family life, the spirit of your home, the look and feel of your home, the peace of your home.  This venue is so important!  If your home life is not right, meaning it doesn’t nourish and sustain you, it would be impossible to maintain a successful life on the outside.  People do it, but that’s not success.
  • Work/Business – This venue is about the workplace and all that goes on there. Your advancement or ability to grow your business. For many people this venue is most of their life and all other venues are ignored.  Most imbalances come from this venue getting too much of your available time and energy.  But also, many of what goes on in this venue is like a rat in a maze (hence term rat race.)   People are very busy but because of bad or ineffective habits, their work is not as fruitful as it could be or as they need it to be. Powerful success habits are needed to work smarter.
  • Community/Church – For life to be truly balanced it has to have a ‘reach out’ component.  It can’t be all about you, your family and the business.  Giving something back to the community is crucial.  Service is actually one of the essential habits of prosperity.  Fellowshipping with fellow church members, with neighbors and the business community is a vital part of success.  And not just for the socializing piece either.  We have to be part of or lead programs that help other people who are not as fortunate as we are.   We all live in a community and we have a responsibility to be a player, active in some aspect of that community’s well being.  Being on the sidelines is not an option.

Review these 5 vital venues and decide which venue you will concentrate on.  A quick assessment will help.  On a scale of 1-10 where would you rate your success in each venue?  The one with the lowest rating might be a good place to start.

The Five Basic Principles of Success

Powerful Habits in 21 Days  – PH 21 Day #13

1.  Benevolence:  All real success must be linked to a higher purpose of service and a spirit of generosity.  As you consider creating new habits, think about how you can invoke the principle of benevolence in all you do.  Or, you might want to consider habits to do with benevolence.  My husband did this program some time ago and he actually chose to work on smiling more!  Simple habit but my goodness how it ripples through all of life!  And what a tough habit (serious expressions)  to break!  But he did it.  The effect on relationships, business and on his own sense of peace and joy was amazing.

2.  Self-Efficacy:  This is pretty straight forward.  There is no success without getting things done.  If you’re not able to accomplish what needs to be accomplished on a daily basis, you won’t be achieving success.

3.  Integrity:   However you define success – Peace, Joy, Prosperity, etc…being a person of your word and having high standards of conduct is pivotal.  Being able to be free to be who you are privately, in your public and business life is about integrity. In web 2.0 language it’s about being transparent.  A high level of success requires unquestioned credibility and integrity.

4.  Creativity: Being able to find solutions for challenges in your business and personal life is about creativity.  I used to think that creativity was only about the arts.  I didn’t see myself as a creative person.  But thank God for progress, I now know better.  Creativity is a vital principle of success.  There is no success without finding solutions for life’s challenges and being able to think outside the box.

5.  Consistency: You’ve got to be able to do it all (practice the other 4 principles) everyday. Oh of course people have bad days or moments.  My Pastor (Dr. Therman Evans) just said something in church on Sunday that was perfect.  Having a moment doesn’t mean you’re not on the mission!  We’re human, we have moments; we even have days!  The thing is to recognize your moment, see it for what it is (be accountable to yourself) and move on. This is the principle that is primarily about forming habits: being consistent with your effort and commitment.

Together these principles form the conceptual and practical foundation of success.